Losing a family member in an intensive care unit

An intensive care unit is a place where life is maintained with the help of advanced medical equipment. But it is also a place where life sometimes ends. In cases where it becomes clear that life-sustaining care is no longer meaningful, but should be changed into end-of-life care, the healthcare staff has a particularly great responsibility to support the patient’s family and make the situation understandable to them.

The physical environment of an intensive care unit can feel cold and alien. The emotional contact with the intensive care nurses therefore becomes all the more important for the family members’ experiences and ability to cope with the situation – both in the unit and afterwards. In a recently published study, 22 family members were interviewed about their experiences of losing a loved one in an intensive care unit in Sweden.

The interviews revealed that family members needed more than just information. Arrival at the unit was characterized by fear, uncertainty and confusion. What they found particularly important was that the healthcare staff understood their emotional state and showed their understanding through compassionate ways of meeting and talking to them. The fact that the staff put chairs around the bed and explained the visit to the patient created a sense of shared humanity.

Although several of the interviewees appreciated that the staff tried to inform them about the patient’s condition, they had difficulty understanding the meaning of what was said. The medical information did not meet their emotional needs. Sometimes the information could not be absorbed at all, or they got fixated on some medical detail in the information. The most difficult thing to understand was, of course, that the relative was now very close to death and might not even survive the night. While some had difficulty giving up hope, others could perceive any attempts to give hope as clearly empty. What the family members mainly emphasized as important was how the nurses’ compassion and emotional support helped them understand the reality of the loss. Understanding life and death cannot be equated with being informed.

One thing that particularly worried family members was whether the loved one suffered in their final moments of life. Even though they knew that the nurses had given pain relief and sedatives, they were concerned (both before and after the patient’s death) whether the doses had been high enough to completely relieve pain, fear and anxiety. Some had also (perhaps much earlier) promised their loved ones to ensure that their death would be peaceful, which could reinforce fear and give rise to feelings of guilt. Others, who felt that the staff had done everything that could be done for the patient, could still worry about invisible forms of anxiety that the sedatives did not fully relieve. Or worry that the medication itself could cause nightmares. Addressing family members’ concerns about their loved one’s suffering requires more than just information: emotionally clear communication rooted in understanding their concerns.

Finally, the interviews highlighted the importance of being able to say goodbye to the loved one, whether it took place before, after, or at the moment of death. Again, the healthcare staff played an important role in enabling a farewell that the relatives felt was in line with their relationship. Regardless of whether the farewell is improvised or ritual, a meaningful farewell can have long-term significance for the grieving process.

Read the article here: Losing a close person to death in ICU: A thematic analysis of bereaved family members’ experiences of end-of-life care.

The authors emphasize four things to consider in particular to further improve a family-centered approach in an intensive care unit. First, family members need to feel seen and heard in a situation of emotional chaos. Second, they need to understand the implications of withdrawing treatment. Third, they need to trust that their loved one is not suffering, or did not need to suffer. Finally, family members need the opportunity for a meaningful farewell.

All of this requires that intensive care nurses can prioritize support for family members.

Lena Palmryd, Anette Alvariza, Åsa Rejnö, Tove Godskesen, Losing a close person to death in ICU: A thematic analysis of bereaved family members’ experiences of end-of-life care, Intensive and Critical Care Nursing, Vol. 94, 2026, https://doi.org/10.1016/j.iccn.2026.104359

This post in Swedish

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